


delusionary supernova

by mikararinna, seasonfead



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Past Noren, Past Relationship(s), plus imagery, the science nerd in me jumped out for this one, weird and unnecessary metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26172529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikararinna/pseuds/mikararinna, https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasonfead/pseuds/seasonfead
Summary: "From today onwards, Na Jaemin, you are my boyfriend. My fake boyfriend."Huang Renjun is a lone meteorite that come and go from planet to planet. Na Jaemin is the planet that Renjun would always get pulled into its atmosphere. And no matter how many times Renjun tried to pull away, he couldn't help but orbit around Jaemin.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 112





	delusionary supernova

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seasonfead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasonfead/gifts).



> ok hiiiii this is for fea who has been listening to me rant abt my fics for the longest time. i guess this can be a late bday gift for u since we cant find a time (yet) for me to give u ur bday gift skkdks. 
> 
> this is a combine work between me and fea because she gave me the initial idea and snippets and then i just,, vomitted this in 1 week lmaooo
> 
> n e ways leave a comment because i crave validation ty <3

Renjun could think of several things to describe himself. Pretty, would be one of them. Narcissistic of him, he knew. But Renjun couldn't deny that he was beautiful whenever he looked at himself in the mirror. 

He was more on the petite and leaner frame. Not as bulky or ripped as Lucas was. He had toned muscles but just enough for him to fend for himself, not to show off. His slender figure made it easier for clothes to fit on him and have him look good. The leather or ripped jeans that Renjun frequently wore was a testament of how great his proportions was. And Renjun had a knack for pastel colours, so that was certainly why he would call himself pretty.

Not everyone could pull off pastels and still have that air of masculinity in them. People would call him handsome but Renjun rather the word pretty. There was a tone of endearment towards getting called pretty instead of charming, handsome or dashing. So pretty, would be one of the words that Renjun would describe himself with. 

Of course, Renjun had puberty to thank for the reconstruction of his looks and other parts of his body. But he would also like to thank his mother's strong genetics. No offense to his father, but Renjun preferred the soft looks of his mother. 

Yes, he was pretty and all that but Renjun had been told that the word _pretty_ tended to come hand in hand with the word _petty._ There was only a one letter difference from them so it wasn't really a surprise. It did irk Renjun a little whenever someone reminded him of how the words coexist with each other. 

Renjun wasn't _petty._ He was civil. Talked things through with the other party, holding meaningful heart-to-hearts. He wouldn't leave the other wondering over indirect tweets or hanging by a broken string. No, no, Renjun was not petty, he was civil. 

Though, as he sat there, eyes boring holes at the back of Jeno's stupidly perfect head, the pencil in his hand almost snapping, Renjun wondered if he was allowed to be petty. 

"Easy there, you're going to break your pencil. It's enough that you already have your heart broken," Renjun snapped his head at Jaemin's words.

The other had given him a glance before he turned back towards his book. Renjun hissed at him, like a cat would when someone tittered over their comfort zone and Jaemin didn't even flinch. Instead, he flipped the page of his book and Renjun could see the diagram of an imagined supernova on the page. 

It looked a lot like what Renjun was feeling. 

Except he was being swallowed into a black hole as he exploded. And he kept getting pulled in, unsure if he could ever come back up. If his feet could ever be pulled by gravity and let him stick to the ground. 

"He's already _moving on!"_ Renjun exclaimed in disbelief. 

"Just like every other living being on planet Earth." Jaemin answered casually. 

"Jaemin, we just broke up,"

At this, Jaemin looked up at him. 

"I have no idea how time works for you and how you perceive it, Renjun. But according to my calendar it's been two months and if I have failed Maths before, I would say that _is pretty soon._ As it seemed, however, I have never failed Maths therefore it has been a good, full, eight weeks since the both of you broke up. You didn't 'just broke up', you have been for the past eight weeks or two months, just so you know."

Ouch. Renjun tried to not let the words sting. 

Okay, so maybe they _had_ broken up for a few months. But didn't usually people move on a little later? Two months was still considerably short in Renjun's opinion. Jeno should wait two years maybe, two decades…

Never date again after Renjun. 

"Breaking news, Huang Renjun. Whether you like it or not, people _have_ to move on from a break up. You've only dated Jeno for like, what? Three months? Barely even that? You can't blame him for living his life," Jaemin responded. 

Hate it how Jaemin could read his mind. Renjun cursed under his breath, not even bothering to filter it out from Jaemin's ears. If he heard it then he heard it. It was what he got for being his stupidly, rational friend. 

"It's unfair," Renjun whined. 

"What is? Jeno being a completely civil person after the break up? Him deciding to find interest somewhere because he can't be stuck mourning over a relationship that barely lasted? Or the fact that you can't move on?"

"Can you _shut up?"_ Renjun hissed and at this, Jaemin flinched slightly. 

Renjun felt bad. He knew he shouldn't snap at Jaemin like that but he couldn't help it when he knew Jaemin was spot on. Jaemin had always been good at reading him since they first met. It resulted in a straightforward Jaemin and a less than comfortable Renjun whenever they were together but in the end, they became friends. And Renjun was grateful for that. 

But he wasn't appreciative of Jaemin grazing over the wound on his heart. He was being dramatic, he knew. There was barely love in the relationship, only mutual attraction and interest towards each other. Yet, the way Jeno had cared for him left Renjun yearning for their relationship again. 

Maybe he was affection deprived and projecting it over to his ex. 

"Look, I just, I think it's foolish of him. The break up, him moving on, everything is foolish. He could've had the best and he let that go. It's _his loss."_ Renjun pressed on. 

"Then why are you the one disturbed over it?" Jaemin asked quietly, eyes barely peeking at Renjun. 

He clenched his fists. He wasn't going to say mean things he was going to regret later on. Renjun wasn't petty. He reminded himself. 

"Renjun, it wasn't even love, it was dating."

Renjun stood up abruptly, the screeching of the metal chair against the tiled floors grabbed the attention of almost everyone in the cafeteria. He winced internally. He didn't mean to cause a scene. Whatever, the deed's been done anyway. 

"He's not going to move on," Renjun said, oddly serious with proving his point. "Not if I have my way with it."

He picked up his things, not even looking back as he left.

  
  
  


Renjun tried to not groan for the umpteenth time as he eyed the two boys before him. He took a deep breath, the grip on his pencil stronger by the second. It could snap. It could snap any minute now like his patience for those two. But Renjun tried to not let his anger consume him. 

"For the last time Renjun, you're going to break the pencil like how you break your heart." Jaemin said from beside him. 

At this one of the two before him finally, _finally,_ removed himself from the lovey dovey position he was in. Chenle looked at him, a worrying frown etched on his face. 

"Who broke your heart?" Chenle asked, curious and concerned. 

"No one."

"Jeno."

Renjun had the mind to not reach over and pinch Jaemin on the arm. Even if he did pinch the other, Jaemin would either flinch away or act nonchalantly. He would rather Jaemin stay put where he was beside him, just in case Renjun truly needed to smack him at the back of his head. 

In the meantime, he stared as Chenle's eyes widened, mouth opening and closing comically. Before he mumbled out an, "Oh," 

There was silence. A stretching silence. Renjun had no idea what his friend was judging him with. But it didn't take long for him to know – even if the calculated silence seemed to bother him. Because in the next moment, Jisung started to speak up. 

"But I thought the breakup was mutual?" 

The pencil broke. Well, metaphorically. It was still intact in Renjun's hand but something inside him snapped. In the next moment, he packed his things. The scene was oddly similar to what happened with him and Jaemin only a few days prior, this time with Chenle and Jisung staring at him in wild surprise. 

Their hands tried to calm down his frantic ones but Renjun had always been quicker. He drowned out their pleading voices and in the next second, left the table. He heard Jaemin saying something along the lines of he will check up on him towards Chenle and Jisung. It was later that he heard Jaemin's footsteps approaching him in the empty hallway, away from the library, void of any other students except them. 

He could pick out Jaemin's footsteps from any other person he knew and didn't. There was always something peculiar about Jaemin's way of walking. Renjun pegged it as something he had differentiated after years of knowing each other. And the fact that Jaemin would never wear anything else other than his Vans and Timbs. Mostly his Timbs. It made it easier to differentiate than the multitude of students with their squeaking Converse or Nike. 

"Renjun!" He heard Jaemin call out to him, ringing throughout the empty hallway. 

Jaemin could catch up to him easy. Ex-member of the Track team in his high school and current vice president of their college's soccer team. Jaemin's stamina was _way_ better than his was. 

But he also knew that Jaemin would keep that distance between them. Make sure that Renjun knew he had a choice. Whether he would spin around and lash out at Jaemin or fall into his arms to cry about it until Jaemin dragged him back to the dorms. 

"Renjun, wait!" A few passerbys stared at them weirdly, probably thinking them as another couple having a public quarrel. 

They weren't entirely wrong. They were having a quarrel, but they were not a couple. Just a desperate kid and his head strong friend. An odd combo. 

Renjun pondered if he should stop his steps. He didn't like negative attention on him, not in the eyes of his college mates and whichever professor walked the hallways. Maybe he should save Jaemin some of that shame as well. Turning a corner, Renjun halted and Jaemin bumped against his body. 

He turned around and was met with Jaemin's flustered state. Odd, the other couldn't be tired over chasing him. They weren't even running, just speed walking. Maybe the collision with Renjun startled him. 

"You stop," Jaemin pointed out. 

Renjun arched an eyebrow at him. "I did."

"So do you finally want to talk?" Jaemin asked. 

"I don't."

"Renjun…" 

He inhaled deeply. "Look, it's- I know I shouldn't be angry or snap at Jisung or Chenle or _you_ even but I can't help it. Something- something in me just-"

Renjun wasn't always rendered speechless like this. But there was that disgusting feeling of perhaps jealousy and something else stuck to his throat. He would cough it out, spit it, hackle it or vomit it out again and again. Until there was not a single stain on the walls of his trachea that made him choke up. Until he would stop being bothered about the mention of Jeno, their past relationship and whatever love conquest he was going after now. 

"It was only a relationship, Renjun." Jaemin had said softly. He hesitated slightly before he held onto Renjun's forearm gently. "So tell me, why does it have you bothered this much? Why does the thought make you run away and hide from us? Did Jeno hurt you?" 

Renjun shook his head. And that's the thing. Jeno _never_ hurt him. Not while they were dating and not even after that. Even the breakup had been gentle and understanding. It was, indeed, a mutual decision. Renjun thought it would hurt Jeno a little like it did to him. But it didn't and _that_ was what made it hurt. 

"Then why?" 

"Because, because it makes me feel like I'm not enough," Renjun whispered. 

The hand on his forearm gripped at it tightly before loosening itself again a second later. Renjun looked at Jaemin and he knew he had to explain himself but the words didn't seem to come out. 

"Renjun, you'll always be enough."

"Yeah, but then how many more failed relationships would occur before I find out I really am not? I will never be anyone's true love, never be anyone's first choice. To them, I will always be the meteorite that barely grazed their planet's atmosphere, before I wander into another again." Renjun said. 

"I'm not mad at Jeno, heavens, even after we broke up he is still nice to me. But it's me, _I'm_ the issue here Jaemin. Because seeing him so easily move on and try to find his happiness again, it makes me feel like I'm not enough. He wasn't even doing it consciously. It's always been my insecurities clouding my mind. Maybe he broke up with me because that's it – I'm not enough for him, not the happiness he wanted, not the meteorite he needed to crash his planet and bring adventures or misadventures to it,"

There was silence. This was it, Renjun thought. Before Jaemin decided that he didn't need a meteorite in his orbit either. He was getting thrown away by his best friend, and honestly, it hurt more than breaking up with Jeno. What surprised him more, was the next words said by Jaemin. 

"Do you still like Jeno?" Jaemin asked. 

"A little, maybe, I don't know." Renjun answered truthfully. He didn't know. Didn't know if his infatuation towards Jeno was due to his affection deprived state or if he still really liked him. "But he was really nice to me and he is handsome,"

That should count towards something, right?

"Then date me."

Renjun's eyes widened. "What?"

"Date me. Fake date me so we can show Jeno that you _are_ enough. Make him jealous that he broke up with you. Have him crawl back to you. Fake date me," Jaemin said, voice certain. 

"Jaemin, I don't think-"

"Why not?" Jaemin asked. "There really is nothing to lose here. I'm single and you're trying to get over your ex. You'll have a fake boyfriend and I'll- I'll have one more thing to add in my relationship resume. No loss, just a lot of faking." 

One thing that Renjun hated about himself was the fact that he gave it some thought. As if, not even just thinking about it momentarily and shrugging it off. He _thought_ about it. Thought about the pros and cons and everything in between. Surely, what was there to lose? Maybe his friendship with Jaemin would be in jeopardy but it wasn't something they hadn't done yet. 

Jaemin was still his friend even after Renjun threw pillows, books, pencils at him. He was still his friend even after Renjun shoved him away several times. And Jaemin was the one who proposed this idea. If he agreed to it, then that meant there was no harm that could graze their friendship.

It would be slightly awkward to jump into fake intimate scenes with him. But they would make it work, right? It wasn't like they hadn't experienced dating before. They just hadn't done it with each other.

"So what do you say?" Jaemin asked him. Renjun looked at him, nodding his head. 

"Okay." He said. "From today onwards, Na Jaemin, you are my boyfriend. My fake boyfriend."

  
  
  


_The Planning._

"We need to set some ground rules," Renjun said when they sat down at the library again, this time away from Chenle and Jisung. 

Renjun doubted the two were still here either way. They had probably left after Renjun, to do whatever other lovey dovey things they did when no one was around. Renjun suppressed a gag at this. That, or the librarian had kicked them out for noise complaint and indecent activity in public. 

"Must we really?" Jaemin asked him, leaning back against his chair. 

"We have to. _We_ know it's fake but we don't need anyone else to know either." Renjun said, taking out his notebook and pencil. 

"Rule one, how far do you want us to go with public display of affection?" Renjun asked. 

Jaemin shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I'm okay with everything, it's not like I've never kissed before. You?"

"Had my first kiss in high school."

"Cute," Renjun glared at him and Jaemin laughed. "Kisses are okay with you?"

"They are okay to me, not anything too uh,"

"Saliva-y?" Jaemin snorted. 

Renjun scrunched up his nose in distaste. "No making outs but kisses are okay to me."

"On the lips?"

Renjun stopped writing briefly. He looked at Jaemin, giving it a thought before he decided on something. "Only when push to do so,"

Jaemin raised an eyebrow at this. "What does that even mean?"

Renjun sighed. "You know how our friends can be. And like, party nights, spin a bottle, activities that actually require us to kiss. I don't need you sucking my face or biting my lip almost every given second in public."

"Fair. So does that mean we're not telling our friends it's fake?" Jaemin asked. 

"I don't know, honestly. Chenle can be a little bit of a blabbermouth. Jisung probably doesn't care and Donghyuck…"

"He's going to make a big deal out of it."

"How would you know?"

"He's a bit of a drama king, isn't he? You know how he gets with this." 

"So, your verdict?"

Jaemin tapped his finger on his lips. "No telling until they caught on to something. Just so you know, I'm a good actor."

Renjun rolled his eyes. "Sure you are. But okay, that sounds like a good idea. They can't say anything since they already know we're close, it shouldn't be hard to convince them we're dating."

In his notebook, Renjun jotted down the new rule. _Rule #2: No telling until caught._

"Holding hands?" Renjun asked. 

"Didn't we go through this on the first rule?" Jaemin asked back. 

"Well, I need to go back to it. Make sure that you're comfortable with everything. _You're_ the one who suggested fake dating."

"Hugs are okay, I love back hugs. I like to cling to my partner. Holding hands is a must too for me in public. Don't like to lose them in the crowd, you know? I prefer linking pinkies honestly, it looks cute. As if you're promising the other that you'll never let go, that you'll stay."

Jaemin mumbled out the last part but Renjun still heard it all the same. Instead of jotting it down in the notebook, he filed it in his mind. It might be useful one of these days.

"Do you tell all your previous partners about this?" Renjun asked, curious. 

"No," Jaemin answered. "Just giving you a heads up, in case you get overwhelmed with the affectionate display."

Renjun nodded his head. "Okay. Dates?"

"A must, especially if we're going to convince Jeno we're dating and make him jealous, right?"

"Okay. I don't think I have to go through that. You know my likes and dislikes."

"Right at the forefront of my mind."

Renjun snorted, but he didn't comment on it as a smile played on his lips. _Rule #3: Let's go on dates._

"Anything else you wanna add?"

"We're going with the basics, right?" Jaemin asked. "Like, we started dating because we confessed we like each other and we're just trying it out for now. It might not work soon, we might break up later on, all that jazz, right?"

Renjun nodded his head slowly. "Yup, that should be it. Anything elaborated feels fake."

"Alright. I think… I think that's it." Jaemin stated. 

Renjun stared at his notebook. There were only three rules on here. It felt empty but Renjun wasn't sure what else to write. He knew the standard rom-com movies had more rules than this but this was Jaemin he was talking about. They had known each other for years, knew what it was that made them comfortable or not. Renjun didn't think they needed to add anything that wasn't necessary to their fake relationship. 

"Yeah, that should be enough." Renjun mumbled.

"That's cool then. I have to leave for soccer practice," Jaemin announced. 

Renjun raised his head to look at him, as the other had already stood up to leave. "So soon?"

Jaemin merely laughed. "I'm already calling it close with this timing. I'm going to be late."

Renjun pouted but didn't say anything as Jaemin slung his bag over one shoulder. He went ahead, ruffling Renjun's hair affectionately. "I'll text you."

And with that, Jaemin left him alone in the library, with a nest of messy hair. Renjun sighed, raking his fingers through his hair to fix it again. He eyed down at his notebook, reading through the content again before picking up his pencil. He would inform Jaemin later on about the additional rule. For now, he should at least jot it down before he forgot the most vital rule of a fake relationship. 

_Rule #4: Don't fall in love._

  
  
  


_Rule #0: The universe beginning; we should go on a date._

Renjun's eyes roamed around the cafeteria. He frowned, then he turned back towards his laptop. A few minutes later, his head shot up again, to cover the rest of the area that he didn't previously.

One would wonder, what was it that Renjun was looking for. Truth be told, he didn't know either. 

He wasn't sure if he was looking for Jeno, for Jaemin or for one of his annoying friends to pop out of nowhere. It was probably the fear of getting caught faking a relationship. It wasn't like they had announced it to the whole world that they were dating. In fact, after the initial planning, they never really did anything. 

Both Jaemin and Renjun had been busy with their own lives after that. Jaemin with his soccer practices and classes and Renjun with his own classes and the non-existent social life. They had been doing their own thing, just like it had been before they started fake dating. So really, nothing much had changed. Renjun didn't know what he was so afraid of.

"You look like a spy trying to hide while on the lookout and failing badly," Renjun jumped in his seat, startled and turned towards the voice. 

Jaemin was there, in his soccer varsity – that Renjun had told him various times was the most offending piece of clothing ever made by humankind – and had his head tilted to one side. His bag was hanging on one shoulder like usual and his files were wrapped around an arm. He must have left from a class, the glasses askewed on his nose was a dead giveaway. 

"I'm not a spy," Renjun answered.

Jaemin raised an eyebrow at him. "Exactly what a spy would say,"

He sighed before gesturing Jaemin to sit, in which the other complied. "You just finish classes?"

"Yeah, physics."

A smile stretched across Renjun's face. "You know I'm good at that,"

"But I can't exactly drag you to my own classes, right?" Jaemin snorted. "I wish we could. I can't understand a shit that Prof. Kim taught earlier. I honestly rather die than do physics."

"You're an astronomy major, physics is basically astronomy in a wider scope." Renjun pointed out. 

"I only care about the existence of the universe _, not_ the numbers that make it up. That is a societal construct," Jaemin argued. 

Renjun sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. He wasn't really in the mood to argue. 

"Any more classes later on?" Renjun asked.

"Nope. The only one for today, you?" 

"I have a review class at 6 but there's like three more hours till then. I'm not really sure how to kill the time. Not really up to head back to the dorms for a nap."

Jaemin hummed, nodding his head. "Should we go on a date?"

Renjun's head shot up at this. "What?"

Jaemin shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, we _are_ dating right? How else are we going to make it more believable if not on a date?"

Renjun gave it a thought. Jaemin had a point. Then again, Jaemin _always_ had a point. It felt as if he was eagerly planning and thinking ahead behind Renjun's back. Maybe he did. But then, it wasn't bad planning. They were fake dating for the sake of riling Jeno up, making him come back to Renjun. Obviously, they need to be convincing enough for that.

"And what date do you propose we do? Anything extreme is out of the question since I have classes later on."

"The cinemas are out of question, since we clearly won't make it back in time and there's nothing exciting premiering. How about a café?" Jaemin suggested.

"We're in one."

Jaemin rolled his eyes. "I mean like, an actual café. Not whatever disastrous food this place serves. I'm craving for some burnt cheesecake and I know there's a café just outside the campus that serves it."

"So, a café date?" Renjun asked. "Doesn't that feel too simple?"

"Yeah, and you can finish your assignment there too if you'd like. Think of it as a… study date in an overpriced café! Nobody said a date must be something you must absolutely prepare for. It can just be casual," Jaemin said. "Plus, you have a class later on and this is just to test the waters. We can decide on a more extravagant date later." 

"Okay, that's fair." Renjun replied, nodding his head. "Now?"

"Better now than never," 

Renjun shut off his laptop, placing it in his messenger bag and picking up the scattered notes on the table. Jaemin helped him carry a quarter of his stuff, mixing it together with his own files. One arm securely wrapped around his notes and the other reached out towards Renjun. 

"Wanna hold hands?" Renjun looked at Jaemin and then at his hand before he looked at Jaemin again. Wordlessly, he clasped his hand with Jaemin's own. 

The café in question was really just a corner round from campus. It was cozy, chic and – based on the menu – definitely a little bit overpriced. Renjun hoped that the cheesecake was as good as it advertised. 

His eyes were busy roaming around the interior of the café, Renjun barely noticed Jaemin leaning down to his ears. Up until he felt a gentle brush against it. 

"Find us a seat, I'll get our orders," Renjun shivered, quickly turning to face Jaemin in surprise. The other merely looked at him unphased, head tilted to the side. "Your regular order, right?"

"Y-yeah?" Renjun answered. 

Get a grip, Renjun. Jaemin was only doing this for your sake. He was making sure it looked like they were dating. Obviously there must be some students from campus here, seeing that it was near the area. Of course Jaemin was going to put up an act. 

Jaemin removed his hand from Renjun's, lingering shortly just above his fingertips before he headed to the cashier. Renjun inhaled deeply. Then, he searched the area for a seat. 

It wasn't hard to find a seat, thankfully. There was a vacant one just beside the window, overlooking the streets outside. And just fortunately, had a cable plug near it. 

Renjun took long strides, ungracefully plopping himself down on the seat. Pretty didn't mean poise for Renjun, it didn't matter to him, in fact. He took out his laptop, quickly plugging it in. The device was already dying back in the cafeteria. Jaemin came back just as Renjun keyed in his password. 

There was an iced Americano, a hot caramel macchiato and two slices of cake. Renjun arched an eyebrow at this. 

"For someone who unapologetically drinks 8 shots of espresso everyday, you sure have a particularly sweet tooth," He commented when Jaemin sat down. 

Jaemin blinked owlishly. He looked away, picking up his drink to sip on. "One is for you,"

"You know I'm not really a fan of cakes, right?" Renjun pointed out. 

"I know," Jaemin smiled. "But it has a macaron as decorations on top and I know you mention you like them. So I got the cake for the macaron."

"You could've just gotten me a regular macaron."

"It was sold out. This is the best alternative,"

Renjun sighed but didn't argue. "Thanks."

"Only for my boyfriend," Jaemin replied. 

It shouldn't make him that flustered. They were fake boyfriends who were currently on a fake date. Of course Jaemin was going to fake flirt with him. This was a new norm for them. 

Renjun cut a small bite of the cake and savoured it silently. 

"So? Since it's our first date, should we get to know each other?" Jaemin asked. 

Renjun looked at him. "We've already known each other though?

"Well, yeah," Jaemin replied. "Huang Renjun. Born on March 23, 2000. Loves the character Moomin for some reason,"

"For some reason?" Renjun asked amusedly. 

Jaemin rolled his eyes. "For some reason. Plays the piano, occasionally would smack me with your notebook, has violent tendencies,"

Renjun kicked him in the shin under their table. The cutlery clanged against each other, but nothing fell off. So that was lucky for them. 

"See?" Jaemin pointed out, an amused grin plastered on his face. "But those are the things I already know of you. So tell me something I don't know. Something intimate and personal."

"Like what?"

"If you're a top or bottom. Do you prefer a certain way when kissing? How do you like your eggs in the morning?" 

Renjun spluttered. He stared at Jaemin with wide eyes. 

"Also, do you cuddle post-sex? Because I do. I love cuddles."

"How is this- How is this important for our fake dating rendezvous?" Renjun asked him. 

Jaemin shrugged his shoulders. "It doesn't, I think? But it's fun to know. I kinda want to know how your past boyfriends treated you and vice versa. Wouldn't that be interesting to know?" 

Renjun sighed. He looked at Jaemin, seeing the other smiling like it didn't disturbed him. They never knew of each other's sex life. Renjun liked to think that they didn't _need_ to. It was an intimate and private part of their life. But Jaemin seemed keen on learning about it as Renjun's fake boyfriend. What was the harm? It wasn't like they were going to do anything intimate like that past the kissing. 

"I like straddling my partner when kissing, gives me a sense of dominance even if I'm not one. Scrambled eggs in the morning," Renjun answered. "And yes I love cuddling." 

Jaemin's smile widened. "You do know that the eggs question isn't actually about eggs right?"

Renjun blushed a bright red. "Of course I know, you idiot. But I'm not going to give you more details than I have,"

Jaemin looked delighted and Renjun wanted to smack him again. 

"So based on your vague description, you're a bottom, huh?" 

"Why are we even talking about this?" Renjun sighed, hiding behind his hands. This felt like it was getting nowhere. "And you?"

 _Why_ on earth did he ask Jaemin that? Where had he left his dignity? Maybe he should search the cafeteria again. Renjun was sure he left it somewhere there. 

He peeked his eyes through his fingers. Jaemin was staring at him, head tilted to the side and an eyebrow raised. He should know what Renjun was asking, right? It wasn't hard to piece it together. 

"I like whatever it is my partner wants," Jaemin answered curtly. 

"So, a pleaser, is it?" 

Jaemin shrugged his shoulder, still smiling. "Maybe," 

Renjun sighed again. Removing his hands from his face, he stared at Jaemin. "We're not doing this again,"

"Why not? It's fun," Jaemin teased. 

"With you involved? It feels more like torture." 

There were no more intimate questions asked after that. Renjun was grateful. He didn't want to know about eggs in the morning. 

Instead, they asked more about each other's personal life. It struck Renjun that, other than the usual persona he showed up with, they probably didn't know each other as much as he thought. He knew Jaemin had a sibling, but not ten years older than him. Jaemin knew Renjun was from China, but not exactly where he was born in plus the cultural upbringing there. 

So they knew each other, but not the details. Not the exact moment in their lives. 

And somehow, it felt nice to tell this to someone. To have them listen to you as you rant out about back when you were six, you fell off the stairs and got a concussion that might or might not left you scarred from climbing up the stairs after that. To be heard, in a way, felt comforting. 

"Oh? There's like half an hour left," Jaemin commented as he looked down on his phone. 

"Already?" Renjun asked, surprised. 

Jaemin looked at him, smirking. "Did you even work on your assignment?"

Renjun blushed, flustered. "O-of course I did! It's not finished, but I definitely did something,"

Jaemin laughed and Renjun was about to kick him in the shin again when a figure loomed over them. Renjun looked up, seeing a grinning Donghyuck looking at them. Oh, great. 

"Aha! And what do we have here? If it isn't Renjun and Jaemin," Donghyuck said. "What are you two doing here? Isn't Renjun too much of a cheapskate to spend more than the price of a bag of chips for coffee?"

Renjun scowled at him. Donghyuck merely giggled. And Jaemin was the one who answered. 

"We're on a date," He said. Renjun looked at him, Jaemin shrugged his shoulders. 

Well, they did say that their friends shouldn't know about the faking aspect of their relationship. Not until they caught onto something. It was only understandable that Jaemin told Donghyuck they were on a date. It made it easier for everyone to know that they were dating. Donghyuck's wide range of friends and big mouth would surely get them somewhere. 

Donghyuck looked at them weirdly. "A… date? Like, like a friendly one?"

"No," Renjun answered. "A _date._ A romantic one,"

Donghyuck gaped at them. 

"Oh. _Oh."_ Donghyuck gasped. "Well, that is a surprise! Ugh, I've been waiting for this day since _forever. Finally,_ Na Jaemin has the guts to-" 

In that moment, Renjun had never seen someone standing up so quickly without throwing off the table. But Jaemin did. And it surprised Renjun how quick he was to suddenly cover up Donghyuck's mouth. Renjun watched as they conversed silently through their eyes. 

He wondered what was going on. 

Jaemin turned to look at him and Renjun jumped slightly in his seat. "Hey babe, don't you have classes to get to?"

"Um, uh, y-yeah." Renjun stuttered out, packing his things. 

"You're okay on your own? I haven't seen Hyuck in a while so I was thinking of catching up with him," Jaemin said, no longer covering Donghyuck's mouth but had an arm slung over the other's shoulder now. 

"Yeah, it's okay," Renjun answered. It wasn't like he was incapable of getting to campus on his own. It was only a walk away. "Text me later?"

Jaemin smiled at him, ruffling his hair affectionately like he did before. "I will. Bye," 

Renjun only nodded his head before he left the café. As the entrance door closed behind him, Renjun took a deep breath and looked back. Donghyuck already took his seat from earlier, talking to Jaemin. Renjun couldn't hear what they were saying but he watched as Jaemin turned around to look at him through the glass panel, waving his hand at Renjun. Renjun waved back and then he walked away. 

Jaemin wouldn't tell Donghyuck they were fake dating, right? Afterall, this was only just the beginning. 

  
  
  


_Rule #1: The planets are aligning; do you want to hold hands?_

Every once in a while, Renjun got himself wondering, how did he get himself in such a mess? It wasn't a physical mess. Not the kind where you could clean it up or shove it down a rug and act like nothing happened. 

No, not that, unfortunately. 

This mess came in the form of Zhong Chenle in front of him, bouncing excitedly as he stared at Renjun with bright, sparkly eyes. 

"Are you dating Jaemin? Is it true? Are you guys sucking faces?" 

Renjun groaned. Lee Donghyuck. It must be him. He was the only one who knew they went on a date _and_ were dating. His conversation yesterday with Jaemin must have something to do with the (fake) relationship. It must be Donghyuck asking who else knew and him blurting it out to every one of their friends. 

"We're not gross like you,"

"Yet." 

Renjun sighed. "Yes, we're dating."

"That's cute," Chenle cooed at him. He had to remind him that Chenle was younger than Renjun. 

"Who told you?" Renjun asked instead. 

"Hyuck," Chenle answered. Renjun knew it. "And also Jaemin's Instagram story."

"What?" Renjun hissed, picking up his phone on the table. 

He hasn't checked his Instagram since yesterday. Too occupied with his assignments and classes that he hadn't bothered opening it. It was the usual dilly dally with his friends anyways. So Renjun didn't think about Jaemin uploading a picture of them from yesterday. 

When he checked the other's profile, there was indeed a story that Renjun hadn't seen yet. He opened it and saw a picture of their meal from yesterday. The next one was a picture of Renjun, taken while he wasn't aware, with the words 'date' beside his head and a little heart to accompany it. 

Well, what a surprise. 

"You two are so adorable," Chenle cooed again. 

"It's a date, don't you and Jisung do the same thing as well?" Renjun asked. 

"Well, _yeah._ But you and Jaemin are just the cutest! You're like soulmates,"

"Soulmates don't exist, Chenle."

Chenle gasped scandalously. "How can you say that! Have you not seen me and Jisung?"

Renjun rolled his eyes but didn't say anything more. He has to admit, Chenle and Jisung were made for each other. Just like soulmates. Two pieces of a puzzle that _just fit._ He wondered briefly if he would ever find someone he could call _his_ soulmate. 

"Ah, young love, what a beautiful sight," Chenle sighed dreamily. 

"You're younger than me, Chenle." Renjun pointed out. 

"Still, can't I be happy for a friend's new love escapade? It's been a while since you've go on and stop being miserable,"

Renjun's fingers twitched at this. "I'm not miserable."

"Not anymore because you have Jaemin!" Chenle exclaimed and then proceeded to _giggle._

Ah yes, Zhong Chenle. Would it be a pity if Renjun socked him in the face? No one would know. And he was sure Donghyuck would appreciate it after the _incident that shall not be named_ a few months ago. He never got to realize his thoughts when he felt someone draping over his whole body. 

"Baby, is Chenle bothering you?" 

His ears could feel the pain rather than hearing the squeal that Chenle let out. Jaemin's breath was dangerously near his ear and Renjun had the second impulse to shove him into the nearest trash bin. 

"Jeno's here, your 1 o'clock," Jaemin whispered lowly. 

He didn't know what bothered him more. Jaemin's raspy voice whispering quietly _right_ at his ear or the fact that Jeno was _so near_ and he couldn't see him. Seeing that Chenle's loud squeal grabbed the attention of almost everyone in the area, Renjun doubted that Jeno didn't look up in curiosity at the noise as well. 

He resisted the urge to look at where Jeno was. He was still (fake) dating Jaemin. 

"Aren't you two adorable?" Chenle cooed. 

Renjun internally sighed. He wasn't a baby to be coo at. 

"Thanks Chenle, but I'm pretty sure you and Jisung are more adorable," Jaemin said, taking his seat beside Renjun. And then, very smoothly, slide his hand over Renjun's forearm before placing it on his hand that was resting on the table. 

Chenle didn't miss that action, unfortunately. Eyes on their hands, looking at it with much interest. But he didn't comment on it like the ear-splitting squeal he had pulled out earlier and Renjun thanked every deity out there. 

"Jisung won't do anything cute with me in public. He's shy, remember?" Chenle said. 

"Not what we usually see," Renjun commented, an eyebrow arched at him. 

"That's different. It's because it's you guys so he could let loose a little. He's not afraid of judgement because you guys are friends," Chenle explained. 

"We still judge the both of you with your affectionate gestures." Renjun pointed out. 

Chenle shook his head. There was a sad smile and Renjun realized it wasn't the kind of judgement that he had thought about. Not the blatant eye rolling they do whenever Jisung kissed Chenle on the cheek or the little teasing smile they had whenever Jisung blushed at Chenle fixing his hair. It was not that. It was something much, much more personal. 

"Not that kind of judgement," Chenle confirmed in a soft whisper.

Renjun didn't know what to say. It wasn't that he didn't want to say anything. He sympathized with them. He _wanted_ to say something, assure Chenle that this wasn't something he and Jisung were going through alone. But Renjun had been _so_ used to the passive-aggressive way of him showing affection to his friends. 

Which, in a certain light, might seem toxic of him to do. However, he really did care for his friends. Loved them just as much as he wanted to smack them whenever they were being annoying. 

But words weren't Renjun's forte. Always too awkward, too stiff in his way of speaking. He didn't want to say anything out of line, something that could come out as crude and hurt Chenle beyond the pain he was already bearing. 

He didn't have to. 

Because Jaemin had reached out his other hand towards Chenle. Squeezing the younger's hand gently and giving him a reassuring smile. A smile so full of love and fondness that it made Renjun feel comforted even though he wasn't the one who needed it. 

And with that, he felt his heart twinge slightly. 

"Hey, you have us, don't you?" Jaemin said. 

It was simple words. But the simplicity in it held a lot of thoughts and feelings. The simple words were enough to make Chenle look up and smiled at them. 

"Yeah, and I wouldn't have it any other way." Chenle answered. Jaemin removed his hand but Chenle seemed to regain more energy than he did earlier. "I'm going to pick Jisung up from his classes. You two stay cute, okay?"

Jaemin laughed while Renjun smiled at the other. He watched as Chenle left them alone. He sighed before basically smashing his head against Jaemin's arm. 

"Are you okay?" Jaemin chuckled. "Jeno's still here I think. He's been glancing at us for a while now."

"You should stop sneaking up on me like that. You're lucky I don't have a weak heart," He said instead. 

"Well, too bad, you have to deal with that a lot more after this."

Renjun hummed softly. "To be honest, this is kind of tiring,"

"Do you want to take a nap here? I'll wake you up later." Jaemin said leaning down slightly and Renjun could feel his lips pressing against Renjun's head. "Is this okay?"

The soft whisper against his hair made Renjun shivered slightly. He nodded his head, unsure if he was referring to the kiss on his head or the offer to take a nap. He wasn't tired because of classes. He felt strained over this fake thing they had going on. Jaemin didn't seem to have an issue on this however. 

"We just started, you can't be tired already. You haven't even gotten Jeno's attention." Jaemin said. 

Renjun sighed, burying his cheek further into the fabric of Jaemin's sweatshirt until he could feel it squishing below his eye. The smell of his cologne was strong, something Renjun wouldn't put on normally. But it smelt good on Jaemin. Fitting for him. 

"You're right. The show's just begun."

  
  
  


_Rule #2: A passing meteor; nobody should know._

Renjun was not popular in any way. 

Okay maybe a little bit well known on campus for being the cute guy wearing oversized hoodie, Donghyuck's best friend slash platonic soulmate and was briefly Jeno's boyfriend. Though the last one didn't really warrant that much attention from the student body. 

Jaemin, however. Well, it didn't take a genius to know he was the popular kid in college. 

There are several girls always flocking his way. The kind and handsome campus guy. The vice president of their college's soccer club. The friendly heartthrob. Yeah, he was basically everyone's ideal type. 

So, Jaemin was popular. Like, _really, really_ popular. With perhaps a quarter of the school population having a crush on him. Always trying to make a move – and always failing. Just a snap away from getting a partner for himself, really.

Which meant that everyone would be nose deep to know about Jaemin's current relationship status. Would turn the campus upside down just to have a scoop of his new love life. Willing to shove themselves in front of Jaemin's partner's face just to get a confirmation. 

Thus, that was how Renjun found himself in, the next time he was on campus. 

"Is it true you're dating Na Jaemin?" A girl asked him, face too close for his comfort. 

Renjun was sure she had seen her before. Probably one of the girls Jaemin rejected previously. And that was the thing, you see, Jaemin had voiced out several times that he wasn't interested in girls. But none of them seemed to care.

Well, lucky for them, because Renjun didn't care about what their name was either. 

"Yes," Renjun answered, surprised that he didn't stutter or hesitated his answer. Getting bombarded twice might have helped increase his experience points.

There was a gasp from behind the girl. It took a minute for Renjun to finally realize that there was someone else behind the girl. She was so close to Renjun, he could barely see anything in his peripheral vision. 

"So you _are_ dating Na Jaemin?" Didn't he answer this question before?

"Yes. I am. Is there something wrong?" Yeah, he was probably pissed now. 

Another gasp, this time from the girl in front of him. But Renjun didn't get to glare her down long enough before she was pulled away. And then _another_ girl shoved herself upclose towards Renjun. 

He wasn't usually female-phobic, but today he might be. 

_"How?"_ She hissed. 

Renjun gave her a cocky look. "What do you mean how?"

"How do- How do _you_ get Na Jaemin to like _and_ date you?" The new girl grumbled. She stared at Renjun condescendingly, looking him down. 

Okay, ouch. They might be fake dating so Renjun shouldn't be offended that a girl that was _rejected_ by Jaemin himself would look down on him. But it still hurt his pride to be judged that way. What was wrong with how he looked? Renjun was sure he was prettier than her. 

"Maybe because I'm not such a _bitch."_ He spat out angrily. 

No one, and he meant _no one_ could look down on him. 

There were two people gasping now and it hurt his ears more than Chenle's squeal from the other day. Did they have lung problems? Was that why they keep gasping? Were they too far up their asses that they couldn't catch the oxygen?

"How dare you-!" And Renjun was expecting to be slapped at. Honestly, he didn't mind. The little bit of pain might make him feel a bit better.

Instead he was pulled away, someone's arm wrapping protectively around him. Renjun raised his head slightly to stare at Jaemin's jaw. Did they always have this big of a height difference?

"What's going on here?" Jaemin asked, voice threatening. 

Renjun watched as the girls' eyes widened. Ha, sucks to be them. First rejected and now possibly getting hated by Jaemin. Must be tough to live like that. 

"J-Jaemin, hey, nothing's going on," One of them stuttered out. 

"This isn't high school for you to go around and bully people over your own insecurities. Mature up, would you?" Jaemin said. 

"I liked you!" The other said. 

"So? I don't." 

Renjun would laugh at their offended faces but he had to remind himself that he was the damsel in distress here. They looked like they were about to say something more. Jaemin gave them a _look_ however and they deflated. Huffing, grunting and making a ton of protesting noises, they scramed. 

He didn't even get to see them disappear from sight when he was pulled away. Jaemin looked at him from top to bottom and Renjun squirmed slightly. He wasn't embarrassed at being checked out, it was just slightly uncomfortable when Jaemin did it. Probably expecting a bleeding or a bruise. 

"Are you okay?" He asked as if he didn't check on Renjun's whole figure a second ago.

"I don't look like I need to go to the infirmary, don't I?" Renjun answered. 

Jaemin sighed helplessly. "Sorry about that," 

"It must be hard dating you," Renjun commented. 

"It isn't usually like that." Jaemin answered. He eyed Renjun for a minute longer and Renjun cocked an eyebrow at him. "You have two classes today, right? When does the last one end?"

"Um, at two? If the lecturer lets us off on time." Renjun said. 

"I'll take you home,"

"What? No," Renjun replied. "Don't you have soccer practice later?"

"Can you wait? It'll finish early today since it's off season. I know the girls would come back," Jaemin said. 

"Jaemin, I'm not incapable. I can beat their asses or something," Renjun answered, borderline frustrated. 

"I know but please? I feel bad, I know they're attacking you only because of me. And I know it's partially my fault, I started- this with you," Jaemin said. "Just- let me take you home? More for my sake than your own, so I'll know that you're safe."

Renjun looked at him. He pondered for a while. It wasn't a bad idea. It was only for two hours at max and Renjun was sure he could kill time at the library or somewhere while he waited. He sighed. 

"Fine." Renjun said. 

Jaemin gave him a smile. "Thanks. I'll text you when I'm done later."

Renjun hummed. "Okay. But any later than five then I'll leave."

The whirring of the air-conditioning inside the library was starting to bother him. Renjun looked up. He heard the sound of machinery clanging and a groan then suddenly the cold wind stopped. He blinked. 

He looked around him. Everyone stared at the air-conditioning around them as well. There was the sound of a microphone being tapped on coming from the speakers. Someone cleared their throat. 

"Dear students, we are sorry to inform you that the air-conditioning inside the library just broke down. The librarians have alerted the campus technician but we could not assure you that the air-conditioning would be fixed right away. The windows would be open to let air in but it might be still a little warm from the spring air."

Renjun groaned. Great. Staying inside a broken air-conditioning library was just as much as staying in the cafeteria. The spring season might not be as scorching as summer, but the air wasn't exactly cool to the touch either. He didn't really want to stay though. He glanced at his watch, it was only three. Jaemin was probably not done yet. 

A notification came in from his phone and Renjun picked it up. 

**_jaemin_ **

_the basketball team are here_

Renjun frowned. 

**_renjun_ **

_so?_

**_jaemin_ **

_jeno, renjun._

_jeno is in basketball._

Renjun's eyes widened. Right, Jeno played basketball. This might be another one of his lucky chances to fake flirt with Jaemin and have Jeno jealous over him. And who cared about why the basketball team was on the soccer field? Renjun was going to put more of his plans into action. 

He quickly packed up his things. Maybe the broken air-conditioning was a sign. 

Renjun had been to the soccer field approximately one time. And that was only because Donghyuck had dragged him back in freshman year when he had a crush on a senior. After that, Renjun had never stepped into the soccer field again. 

Ironic really, because two of his friends were in the soccer team – one who happened to be his current (fake) boyfriend. 

When he stepped into the field to head over to the bleachers, it was no surprise to hear a loud shout from someone in the team. Renjun would be grateful if it was Jaemin, but Na Jaemin wasn't the type to boisterously yell out an 'Oi Renjun' from all over the other side of the field. Instead, he got the other friend yelling that out. 

Renjun looked up, giving a pained smile towards Lucas. He could see Jaemin snickering beside the tall fella and Renjun would pin him down if he wasn't at the other side of the field. 

Pulling down his mask of shame, Renjun sat at the bleachers. He could see a few girls at one corner – probably here to ogle over the boys – and some other students chilling at the bleachers. Probably just killing time. Why they would kill time in the middle of a soccer field under the sun was beyond Renjun. But he was here too, so he couldn't really judge them. 

Alas, he was really just a fool in love. 

He kicked his legs slightly, stared as the people on the field were discussing something. His eyes roamed around and Renjun finally noticed Jeno in the crowd, wearing a simple tee. His heart didn't flutter but it did beat slightly faster then he searched around for Jaemin again. 

When he found the other, Jaemin was already looking at him. Renjun's eyes widened as Jaemin gave him a smile. There was a loud ringing in his ears. Probably the heat getting to him. 

He watched as the crowd dispersed and suddenly, a whistle blown out, a ball was getting kicked around. 

Renjun wasn't really sports inclined. He could kick a ball, swing a racket and run fast enough if he was to be chased by a murderer. So Renjun thought that was enough survival skills for him. To actively participate in sports? Renjun would pass. 

It didn't really make sense to him that the basketball team was kicking a ball. Even someone who didn't play sports knew that basketball was shooting balls over a hoop with your hands. So he really didn't get why the soccer team was playing soccer against the basketball team. Were they short on members? Probably. 

Or it was one of those stupid bets the soccer team made that Jaemin always tell him about. 

The soccer team might be winning on this. It _was_ their area of expertise anyways. But he couldn't deny that the basketball team was good too. The way they always even out the points whenever the soccer team scored one. Impressive, even if it was quickly getting boring to Renjun. 

Somehow, his eyes always caught Jaemin's figure. The way he ran around the field, kicking the ball under his feet, sweat dripping down his chin. How he laughed silently when they scored a goal, him taking a breath in between running. He wiped his sweat by pulling his t-shirt slightly to rub at the wet substance. And that should be disgusting but Renjun wasn't disgusted surprisingly. 

This was his area, Renjun realized. His forte, his escapade. Every single time he mentioned soccer with Renjun, this must be what Jaemin experienced.

Their eyes meet. Jaemin smiled at him and Renjun was torn between looking away or smiling back. He never got to decide as Jaemin was back on focusing on the game. 

Somehow, his heart clenched within his chest. 

It took the whistle to be blown out, signalling the end of the game for Renjun to realize his eyes never looked for Jeno. He reasoned this with the fact that Jaemin was his (fake) boyfriend. Of course Renjun would look at him, it was to make their relationship more believable. 

Renjun waved at Lucas as he watched the other disappear to the shower rooms. Jaemin jogged over to him, still sweating but with a towel around his neck and a bottle of water in his hand. 

"Hey, sorry if I make you wait too long," Jaemin greeted. 

Renjun stared at his sweating face. He shook his head. "You didn't."

"The showers would be full right now but I can bribe someone to let me in first if you want to head home soon," Jaemin said. 

Renjun didn't answer. He stood up and walked towards Jaemin. Picking up the towel around Jaemin's neck, he helped wipe away the sweat that covered his face. 

"You're going to get sick like this," Renjun commented. 

"O-oh," Jaemin mumbled out as Renjun wiped through his hair with the towel. "I was about to wipe it away anyways,"

Renjun smiled amusedly. "Really now? You ran to me as soon as the game ended. You barely even drank your water."

Jaemin pouted at him. And it was cute. Typical Jaemin. 

"This is like, the first time you watch me play, of course I'm going to get excited."

"Sorry, sports just don't interest me that much," Renjun apologized, smiling slightly as most sweat on Jaemin was wiped away. "If it makes you happier, I'll see your next game."

Jaemin brightened up at this. "You will?"

Renjun handed him the partially wet towel. "If you bribe someone to shower first. I want to go home, it's tiring staying out here."

"On it!" Jaemin said, taking the towel from Renjun's hand. 

He didn't get far before he turned around again. Renjun looked at him quizzically. The question never left his lips when Jaemin leaned over and peck him on the cheek. 

Renjun's eyes widened. 

  
  
  


_Rule #3: The sun is bright; are we sure this is okay?_

"Renjun!" He heard his name being called in the hallways. He turned around, seeing Lucas jogging towards him. 

"Hey man, heading to class?" Lucas asked, after he caught up to him. 

Renjun shook his head. "Nope, the cafeteria."

"Neat. Walk with you?" Lucas asked and Renjun nodded his head wordlessly. It wasn't like he was awkward with Lucas. 

"So… you and Jaemin?" Lucas asked when they sat down on the table. He watched as Lucas pulled out a boxed lunch and couldn't help but smile to himself. That was cute. Who would have thought that this tall, athletic man would bring packed lunch to college. 

"Yeah, we're dating." Renjun answered. 

Lying was easy to him nowadays. Like breathing air. Telling people casually that him and Jaemin were dating. When, in fact, they weren't. 

"That's cool! It's been a while since I last saw Jaemin with someone," Lucas commented. "And you too."

"What about me?" Renjun asked. 

"Well, it's been quite some time since you and Jeno broke up, right?" 

"Hm, yeah, two or three months. Both of us have to move on somehow,"

"That's good. It's unhealthy to still be hung up on someone."

Renjun arched an eyebrow at this. "Are you still hung up on someone?"

Lucas chuckled, shaking his head. "No, no of course not. It's just a thought. I'm not that type."

What type, Renjun wondered. The type to still think about their ex because it has been a while since they were in an intimate close contact with someone? The one who was salty over the sight of their ex moving on? The type to start fake dating their friend just to get back on their ex?

"So, how long?" Lucas asked, halting Renjun's thoughts. 

"Not long. A week or two? Barely a month," It has been less than a month since they started dating. 

"Taking it slow?"

Renjun snorted. "The busy college student pace."

Lucas laughed. "Hey, it's fun. Tests your loyalty."

"So you say," 

"I hope everything goes well with the two of you. You look happy and definitely so in love,"

Renjun looked at the other. So they looked in love, huh? That was a way to put it. That meant their (fake) relationship was convincing enough. To have Lucas comment about how they were, maybe it was a good thing going to watch Jaemin practice yesterday. Jeno probably had seen how happy and _in love_ they were and boiled in jealousy. 

Maybe. Hopefully. 

Lucas had left him alone again with the promise of lunch together sometime soon after he was done with his meal. Renjun watched the other disappear within the crowd before turning back to his work. He didn't get far when Jaemin slipped into the seat Lucas was on earlier. He looked determined, somehow and Renjun was curious. 

"Let's go on a date," He said. 

"Okay." Renjun answered, no hesitation.

Jaemin blinked at him. "Okay?"

"Okay." Renjun repeated. "Where to?"

"Uh, um," Jaemin mumbled out and Renjun raised an eyebrow at him. Did Jaemin really ask him out on a date and had no idea where to take him? "Lotte World?"

"Now?" Renjun exclaimed in surprise. Jaemin couldn't be wanting to go to Lotte World _now._ Not only did they have classes but going to an amusement park at this hour would just be a waste of time. 

"No, not now." Jaemin said. "This weekend? No classes, right?"

He shouldn't be surprised Jaemin knew his class schedule since they had been friends for years. But he still was. 

"No. I don't have classes," Renjun confirmed. 

"Then, I'll pick you up from the dorms in the morning?" Jaemin asked. 

"You can't drive," Renjun teased. 

Jaemin spluttered at this, cheeks red as he looked at Renjun. "Nobody said we can't take the train and I can't walk with you there. Or hail a taxi, if walking strains you, princess." 

It was Renjun turned to blush. Curse Na Jaemin and his fluency in (fake) flirting. "Saturday, 8AM, don't be late, bro or I'm going to lock myself in the dorm and you'll have to coax me out yourself to leave."

"Not a problem," Jaemin answered, smiling.

Renjun returned the smile. Maybe Jaemin didn't notice the bro slip up. But that was what they were anyways. A couple of bros. 

Who happened to fake date each other. 

  
  


Renjun blinked. He had a lot of clothes. Donghyuck always dragged him to thrift stores for a new outfit and Chenle no less with the more branded stores. To say that Renjun had nothing to wear was an understatement. His wardrobe was _brimming_ with pieces of clothing that he could mix and match with. 

But Renjun couldn't just pick something to wear and meet Jaemin liked that, right? 

_Why couldn't he?_ The better part of his conscience asked him. 

This was Jaemin. Na Jaemin, he was thinking about. His best friend from college who had known him for the better part of the last few years. Who had seen him throw up after a college party. Who had embarrassingly saw Renjun drool whenever he slept over. Who knew Renjun way too well than how much Renjun would admit. 

So why would he be afraid of Jaemin's judgement of his outfit? Jaemin had seen him in his Moomin pyjamas, nothing could be as embarrassing as that. 

Renjun pulled out a pair of jeans and a simple graphic tee. It wasn't excessive and would be comfortable enough for a whole day at an amusement park. Though he couldn't help to feel that something was missing. 

"It's just Jaemin," Renjun repeated to himself as he apply a little bit of makeup on his face. A simple foundation, eyeliner and _maybe_ a little bit of tinted lip balm. "It's just Jaemin. He knows I wear makeup all the time," 

He barely got his shoes on when the door knocked. Renjun hit the soles carefully on the floor, jumping a little as he opened the door. 

Jaemin stood there and he was wearing something simple as well – so why was Renjun panicking? The sweatshirt he had on was simple, probably thinner than the usual sweatshirts sold on store. Fitting for a day at Lotte World. His hair was messy and he had on glasses instead of his usual contact lens. 

"Glasses?" Renjun asked. 

"Huh? Oh yeah, lost my contacts," Jaemin replied nonchalantly. 

"Just- Just like that?"

Jaemin shrugged his shoulder. "It was about to expire anyways. Plus, don't you like me more with my glasses?"

Renjun coughed to hide his embarrassment. "I like it better when you shut up."

Jaemin laughed. "Ready to go?" 

"Let me get my things," 

They ended up hailing a taxi. 

"You hate walking don't you, princess?" Jaemin teased. 

Renjun merely rolled his eyes. "I hate the subway crowd, Jaemin."

"As long as you hate something that's not me, I'm cool with it."

How could he hate Jaemin? When the other had gone out of his way to be his (fake) boyfriend, letting him use Jaemin temporarily for his selfish needs. If anything, Jaemin should hate him. There was no way they were making it out sane after this relationship. 

All these time, instead of growing hate, Renjun had become too fond. 

"Why Lotte World?" Renjun asked. His fingers were intertwined with Jaemin's, swinging back and forth as they walked through the entrance. "Why the sudden want for a date here?" 

"Because I overheard Jeno's going to be around here with someone," Jaemin answered. 

"Oh," Renjun mumbled. 

Somehow, that made his heart clenched painfully inside his chest. 

Sure, maybe Jaemin was doing this because they were still in a fake relationship and Jeno might have been around to witness it. It was part of the plan. A part of Renjun however, wanted this to be an excuse for Jaemin to hang out with him. Have a little fun. Enjoy themselves a little bit more than usual. 

Jaemin must have noticed his unusual response. He tugged at Renjun's hand gently. 

"And I got two tickets for free, so why not?" He said. 

Jaemin must think that Renjun was saddened at the mention of Jeno's name. He wasn't. But the thought to persuade Renjun out of his sulkiness was much appreciated. Even if it made him feel weird and tingly on the inside. Probably bad digestion. 

Plus, who gets free tickets to Lotte World? That was unrealistic. 

"Do you prefer a sweet, spinning in a circle chariot first or potential fast track to death ride?" Jaemin asked, still swinging their hands as he walked around. 

Renjun blinked before he sighed as he realized what the other meant. "Can't you just call it a merry-go-round and a roller coaster?"

"And what's the fun in that?" 

"Merry-go-round first, then roller coaster. I don't want to jump straight into cardiac arrest."

"Just say you're scared Renjun, it's okay. I'm the only one who would judge you." 

The smack that Renjun inflicted upon Jaemin's shoulder didn't seem to faze him, as the other only let out a happy laughter. He was pulled away in the next second, dragged by a giggling Na Jaemin and Renjun couldn't help but chuckle to himself. This was fine. 

This was not fine, Renjun thought to himself as he was pressed back to chest against Jaemin. 

"Why are we riding the same horse?" Renjun asked. 

"Because we're dating?" Jaemin answered. "We're fake dating,"

And Renjun wasn't sure _where_ it said in the fake dating rulebook for them to be pressed so close to each other. But was he complaining? Maybe a little. Jaemin's cologne was evading his sense of smell that Renjun felt dizzy. Not a good idea to faint on top of an immobile carousel horse. 

"Are you okay?" Jaemin asked, pressing closer until he could tucked his chin over Renjun's shoulder and wrapped his arms over his torso. 

_No._ Renjun would like to answer. _No, because you're pressing against my back and I_ think _I'm sweating buckets from the heat. I'm not sure if it's the heat from the sun or the rising blush on my face, would you like to shove a front camera at me to know?_

"Yeah, I'm fine." Renjun replied. 

Jaemin hummed. The vibrations from his throat could be felt from Renjun's thin tee. "You sure?"

"Yeah," Renjun said. "Can we get snacks after this?"

"Anything for you, babe."

"Stop calling me that," Renjun blurted out before he could stop himself.

Jaemin pulled away slightly. Renjun wanted him to _stay_ where he was just now, but he couldn't find it in him to say it out loud. "Sorry, does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No, I-" Renjun sighed. He couldn't find it in him to say anything at all. Because what was he going to say? 

Stop calling me babe because I think you were making my heart break a little on the inside?

"Yeah, kind of." He answered instead. 

"Alright, I'll keep that in mind," Jaemin said, voice tersed. Did he somehow screw up their (fake) date?

If he did screw it up, Jaemin didn't let that show. Instead, he tugged at Renjun's hand again as soon as they climbed down the merry-go-round.

It felt just as normal as a couple on an amusement park date. Waiting in line for far too long to get on a ride. Eating too much snacks that might upset his stomach later on. Getting pulled around by Jaemin as they cover the area. 

For a moment, Renjun forgot that they were here to put on a show for Jeno. 

"Oh, it's the last piece," Jaemin said, referring to the last pepero stick in the box as they lined up for the roller coaster. 

"You can have it," Renjun comment. 

"When we can split it? Come on, let's share the last stick,"

A broken up pepero would never be the same as eating it as a whole stick, Renjun wanted to argue. But before the words managed to leave him, his mouth was already wide agape as he looked at Jaemin. 

His lips were pressing on one end of the pepero stick while the other was left to dangle towards Renjun's direction. 

Was he insane? Renjun thought that Jaemin must be insane but that thought never struck the other as it seemed. He nodded his head, glancing at Renjun then eyeing the other end of the chocolate-covered stick. 

_Well?_ His eyes seemed to say. _Aren't you going to bite it?_

Maybe Renjun should have done something rational. Like break off the stick and taking the last pepero for himself. Perhaps even shoving the snack into Jaemin's mouth and have the other choke, a gesture for him to remind for days. 

But instead, _instead,_ Renjun leaned forward, biting the snack slightly but not enough to break it off. He didn't have to wait long because in the next second, Jaemin was inching forward. 

A part of him wanted to move away. Shove Jaemin down and sprint out towards the exit. 

Another part of him – and the side of him that scared Renjun the most – wanted to wait and see what Jaemin would do next. 

His breath hitched in his throat when Jaemin was only a bite away from where his mouth was. Renjun dared not breathe. A move and they would be kissing. Maybe not something intimate, but a peck on the lips could possibly happen. 

It felt like time stretched for a moment too long. It struck him as odd that the line in front wasn't moving either. Did planet Earth stopped spinning for this moment? There was no answer. 

And there was no kiss either. 

Jaemin inched forward just slightly, enough to break off the little bit of pepero away from Renjun, letting crumbs fall between them. There was the slight brush of lips but nothing too intense. Indeed, nothing at all. 

"I think I saw Yeeun noona just now," Jaemin said, munching on the pepero in his mouth. "Jeno is probably with her,"

Absentmindedly, Renjun bring the little bit of biscuit into his mouth, trailing a wet tongue over his bottom lip. 

Not a kiss. 

"I should go throw the trash. Don't ride the roller coaster without me!" Jaemin called out before he left in search of a trash bin. 

Renjun sucked in a deep breath, watched as Jaemin moved around, still in his sight. The biscuit in his mouth melted and swallowed down. 

Not a kiss. 

  
  
  


"And you said I'm the one who's scared," Renjun snorted as he helped drag a limping Jaemin. 

"Oh, shut it," Jaemin hissed despite his green face and an arm slung over Renjun's shoulder for support. "It's probably the cotton candy we had."

"Uhuh, sure is."

Renjun helped him get to the nearest toilet which, thankfully, wasn't far from the roller coaster attraction. Must be built there for convenience. They hovered near the doorway and Renjun could see people coming out, face pale white. Yeah, definitely built for convenience. 

"You can just stay outside, unless you wanna see what thrown up cotton candy looks like or want to hear any unpleasant sounds."

Renjun made a look of disgust. "I'll pass," 

He helped Jaemin to the doorway, the other holding onto the walls just steady enough for him to walk on his own. Renjun watched him disappeared into the toilet, in case he needed extra help. Seeing that he didn't, Renjun went to stand at the side – near enough for Jaemin to see him but far enough so he didn't block the way. 

He pulled out his phone to kill time. Jaemin would be there for a while, he might as well scroll aimlessly through his social media. 

There wasn't much. His friends hanging about. Chenle and Jisung on their usual dates; Donghyuck going on a rant in his stories. Not much to see, not anything he hadn't seen before but with a different setting. His aimless scrolling had somehow brought into _someone's_ profile.

Renjun's thumb pressed against his phone screen, pausing the video that played. Well, wasn't that interesting?

"I'm good to go," He jumped slightly, startled, turning around to see Jaemin smiling at him. No more green face but his cheeks had taken a bright shade of red, probably the exertion from throwing up. 

"Yeah." Renjun answered, pressing the home button on his phone without looking and switching it off. The grip on his phone was still tight as he pocketed it into his jeans. "Let's go." 

  
  
  


The adrenaline from spending the day at an amusement park didn't wear off even as Renjun took a seat inside the restaurant. Jaemin sat before him, wide grin on his face, probably still pumping with excitement like Renjun was. The sight made Renjun melt slightly and the adrenaline he felt was just a light buzz under his veins. 

"Had fun?" Jaemin asked. 

Renjun hummed. "A lot."

"That's great," Jaemin breathed out as the waitress handed them a menu and he flipped through it. "But we should probably eat, I'm famished." 

Dinner was nice, talk was simple and Renjun felt comfortable. There was still an odd air between them though. As if a huge bomb was yet to drop. Just laying on a thin net, waiting for the right time to snap. 

And if it dropped, what would be of them? 

Renjun was sulking. Jaemin paid their bills, even sneaking off to pay at the counter when Renjun had left for a toilet break. He merely gave him a smile when Renjun caught him at the cashier. 

He sighed, Jaemin was stubborn. So no matter if Renjun wrestled him down on the restaurant's floor, Jaemin was sure to hold his stance. Instead of paying heed to that, he let Jaemin settle the bill and left the restaurant. Renjun stood there under the restaurant's canopy, staring at the sky above him. 

"Hey, Renjun, wait up-" Jaemin paused. He walked to stand beside Renjun, the door falling shut behind him as he looked above like Renjun did. "Oh, it's raining."

Renjun snorted. "I can see that,"

Jaemin rolled his eyes as he pulled out his phone. "I'll call us a taxi."

The sound of Jaemin tapping against his phone screen mixed well with the raindrops pouring down. It was soothing. Definitely something Renjun would listen to for a calming effect. A gust of wind passed by them and Renjun shivered, the tee he was wearing definitely didn't help his case. 

"Are you cold?" Jaemin asked. Renjun didn't nod or deny but Jaemin tugged at the end of his sweatshirt. 

Renjun's eyes widened. "Wait, Jaemin-"

And of course he had another T-shirt underneath his sweatshirt. Jaemin wasn't stupid to strip down naked in public. He watched as Jaemin shook his head to fix his hair and flipped the sweatshirt over for Renjun. 

"You're going to be cold," Renjun said. 

"I have enough body heat to survive." Jaemin answered. 

Reluctantly, Renjun took the sweatshirt from Jaemin. He put it on, the sleeves falling down just below his thumb. It was big. Jaemin was always broader than Renjun due to his athletic self. If the sweater was fit on Jaemin, it was oversized for Renjun. 

"See? That wasn't so hard to accept." Jaemin said, grinning. 

Renjun glared at him. But his attention was taken away by the strand of hair that fell slightly away from Jaemin's face. Definitely ruining his perfectly unstyled hair style. 

Without much thought, Renjun reached a hand out to fix the stray hair. 

Earth must have stopped spinning again in the next moment. Renjun could feel it. In the way that Jaemin stared at him with wide eyes, unmoving. Even as Renjun had successfully tucked the hair away. The eyes that never left him felt intense, holding galaxies in them that Renjun was truly frightened to see. 

What was there in the galaxy of Jaemin's eyes? What meaning did it hold? And why did it hold so much resolve?

The eyes that looked at him, were they always this bright?

The silence that surrounded them was painful. If it wasn't for the rain, Renjun probably couldn't relax. But even with the rain, Renjun didn't think he could relax after the next course of actions. 

Because when he thought that Earth had momentarily stopped spinning in orbit, Na Jaemin didn't. Na Jaemin who he had known since freshman. Na Jaemin who he had unexpectedly jumped into a fake relationship with. 

Na Jaemin who had leaned down towards Renjun and the only sensation he could feel was the soft, plush lips of Jaemin against his own. 

Renjun's eyes were wide. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear a collision, a supernova unfolding.

The thin net that held a bomb was starting to snap. 

  
  
  


_Rule #4: The collision theory; don't break my (his) heart like this._

His eyes were still wide when Jaemin pulled away. The gasp that left Jaemin was not unheard to his ears. Somehow it made him ache. 

"Renjun-"

"Why did you kiss me?" Renjun cut him off, staring at Jaemin. "Why?"

"I saw Jeno-"

"Would you stop lying to me, Na Jaemin?" Renjun hissed, stepping back. "What Jeno? Where is he? Do you think he would _follow_ us to a restaurant near my dorm all the way from Lotte World? Jaemin, he wasn't even there at Lotte World!"

And the strings of the net snapped completely. The bomb fell. 

"Renjun-"

"Stop it, Jaemin. What are you going to tell me? He was there? So how does that explain the Instagram story of him on a trip with his basketball team?" Renjun asked. 

Jaemin had the audacity to look shameful. His eyes were still on Renjun but the guilt pooling his eyes had replaced the shining galaxy he had earlier. 

Renjun let out a defeated sigh. "Why, Jaemin? Why did you ask me to fake date you? Why did you hold my hands so gently? Why are we out on a date without the intended audience?" 

Jaemin was silent. Renjun was getting impatient. What was he doing here getting string along? Jaemin knew how much it affected him. To be treated with so much importance that he might combust from it. So was it fun for Jaemin to treat him like that? Without a clear intention of what he wanted from Renjun?

He clenched his fist, anger bubbling when there was no answer from the other. Being civil was quickly thrown out the window as Renjun pushed Jaemin in the chest, tears pooling. 

"Tell me, Jaemin!"

"Because I like you!" Jaemin exclaimed, the quiet of the evening suffocating. "Because I like you, Renjun and I don't know what to do about it. When you said that seeing Jeno moving on pains you, I took that as a chance. I suggested us to fake date because- because if things go well, Jeno will have you back. And you like him. So if you're happy with him then that's fine with me. As long as I have a taste of what it feels like to date you."

Renjun fell back in step, staring at Jaemin in disbelief. Jaemin gulped. 

"And I know it's fake but I can't help it. Knowing this is the only chance I can get to pamper you. To love you. To cherish you like I've always imagined. Unfortunately, I realise I've been flying too close to the sun, I got too comfortable. But I didn't mind dying in the heat, knowing that I get to call you mine even temporarily, wishing that I could have that forever. To make you blush like it's the easiest thing in the world. To have you lean on me whenever you feel like everything was getting too much. I never wanted this to end but I can't say the same for you. You're getting pulled away from my orbit, just when I thought you've found a place on my planet." 

The eyes that looked at him were kind, still. Maybe even a little sorrowful. A galaxy of nothing but pain and hope.

"But I guess the power of my gravity is not strong enough," Jaemin whispered softly. "Every time, I stood my ground, watched as you travelled away, out of my gravity. Wondering if there will be a day for you to come back and stay."

The words were gentle under the heavy rain. But Renjun's heart still ached. Jaemin could recite one of Shakespeare's sonnet and it still wouldn't change the fact that he was deceived. 

"You deceit me," Renjun said, helplessly. 

"Renjun, I know I'm wrong. I'm sorry. I didn't want us to end up this way," Jaemin said, reaching out a hand to hold him. 

Renjun step away. He shook his head. "I can't accept this."

"I know you can't but it's raining. At least wait for the taxi to arrive,"

"No." Renjun choked out. "No more, Jaemin." 

"Renjun, _please."_ Jaemin pleaded. 

But Renjun couldn't stand another minute here. He just wanted to go home and crawl into his bed. Even if Jaemin begged on his knees, he didn't think he could stop Renjun's next course of action. 

He spun around, running to the nearest station, Jaemin's distant calls of his name the only thing he heard when he left. The tear tracks and Jaemin's soaked sweatshirt the only evidence of what happened that night. 

  
  
  


When Renjun said he was not popular, he had mean it. Because in the next few days, no one seemed to approach him. It was probably due to the cloudy aura he walked around with but because he wasn't of a lot of importance, no one came to disrupt him. And that was for the better. 

Renjun didn't need people coming around and asking him about Jaemin. He hadn't want to, but the name sort of leave a bitter tang in his mouth.

He tapped his pencil absentmindedly against the wooden table. Sitting in a secluded corner of the library, the quietness was starting to bother his loud mind. 

Jaemin didn't chase him that night, whether out of consideration towards Renjun or the guilt eating him up, Renjun hadn't know. It pained him to know that Jaemin didn't come after him. But the thought that Jaemin did the whole fake relationship thing for his own selfish needs, hurt a lot more. Renjun wasn't a playtoy, even far off from someone who constantly needed to be in a relationship to survive. 

He was fine on his own. He didn't need love, love had failed him anyways. 

Staring at his opened notebook, at the page where they wrote the rules of their fake relationship, Renjun wondered, where did it went wrong?

"Hey there," Renjun's head shot up, expecting another sweatshirt cladded male sitting before him, instead it was Donghyuck smiling at him. 

"Hey," Renjun answered weakly. 

"You don't look too good," Donghyuck commented. Thanks for the commentary of his sunken face after the crying episode from the last few nights, Donghyuck. "Classes?"

Renjun nodded his head. Saying too much made it felt more real and that was what Renjun needed right now, an escape from reality. 

Donghyuck looked around the area, probably looking for someone. "Where's Jaemin?" 

The grip on his pencil tightened. Saying he didn't know wasn't a lie. But the lie that they had woven in front of their friends still laid in tact. Renjun should be the one who cut that off. 

"We broke up," He replied. 

"Ah, so are you guys officially dating now?" Donghyuck asked. 

Renjun looked at him. "I just told you we broke up."

Donghyuck blinked slowly at him, trying to make sense of the words. "Oh. So it's not like a fake break up from your fake relationship to jump into a real one thing?" 

The words rang inside Renjun's head for longer than it usually took him to answer. It wasn't the way Donghyuck worded it – no. It was the meaning held with that single sentence. 

"You knew?"

"About your fake relationship with Jaemin? Yes." Donghyuck answered simply. "He told me that day in the café,"

If Jaemin was here, he would tell Renjun that he was going to snap his pencil into half. But he wasn't here. And Renjun would gladly break a whole box of pencils just to contain his bubbling anger.

"One of the rules for our fake relationship was to not tell any of you unless we were caught." Renjun said. 

Donghyuck sighed. "He has no choice when it comes to me, Renjun. Because I know. I know that he likes you for quite some time now so if he didn't tell me, I would've said something he didn't want me to. It was to protect both of your feelings,"

"Doesn't matter now. The feelings are ruined." Renjun said. "Anybody else know?"

"No. Not that I'm aware of. Everyone just thinks you and Jaemin started dating normally. No one thinks it was fake." Donghyuck answered. "How can it be fake, when he looks at you like you hold all of his stars? Chenle might have guessed that Jaemin has a crush on you prior to the fake relationship agreement. But he probably thinks Jaemin confessed and you both started dating. Nothing fake."

Renjun nodded his head slowly. So that was how it was, huh? "I can't believe I was deceived by my own friends."

Donghyuck chuckled bitterly. "Really? You're going to say that _you_ were deceived? When all these times, Jaemin has been living in a made-up world where he thought he has you? The relationship might have been dishonest but Jaemin's feelings for you are true." 

"Then why didn't he tell me so in the first place?"

"Because _you_ said you liked Jeno, still." Donghyuck hissed. "When he asked you, you told him that you do and Jaemin thought he could never stand a chance. Because every time, _every time,_ Renjun, he has attempt to come forward, you always manage to slip away from his grasp at the very last minute. And Jaemin, stupidly selfless Na Jaemin, doesn't have the heart to hold you down. To stop you from finding your happiness on your own." 

Renjun didn't speak. 

"I _told_ him that he was going to get his heart broken and you know what he told me? He said that it's okay, as long as you're happy in the end. Because even if you say you're not, for Jaemin, you are more than enough." Donghyuck said, voice painful. "You're the meteorite he's been waiting to crash right where he is."

Meteorites, crashing, planets. Right now Renjun just wanted to be a fleck of dust in space, consume by an unassuming black hole. He didn't want to be anticipated. 

"Maybe it's Jaemin's fault too but I reasoned it. If you could find a way to mend your broken heart, so why can't he?" Donghyuck continued. "To have someone willingly let you break their heart several times is not easy, Renjun. To have that someone create a home for you too, isn't something you'd see often," 

"He really loves you but maybe in the process, he had break both your hearts."

Renjun exhaled shakily and Donghyuck looked at him in concern and sympathy. He told himself he didn't need it, but the cracks in his heart was getting bigger. 

"I don't know what will happen next. But I hope that, whatever both of you choose for the future, it wouldn't ruin any of you far beyond fixing."

  
  
  


What Donghyuck said to him at the library still lived fresh in his mind even when he finished his classes for the day. 

But what was he going to do about it? It wasn't like Jaemin jumped into the fake relationship without thinking about the consequences. He knew what he was getting into. Knew that it could hurt both of them. It wasn't Renjun's fault. 

So why was it that his heart ached?

Renjun was startled out of his thoughts when there was a minor collision between him and one of the students walking the hallways. He cursed internally, knowing he looked worse for wear and didn't want to be engaging in any way of communication with anybody. When he looked up to apologize, Renjun really wished that a black hole would swallow him whole. 

"Woah there, careful," Jeno said to him, smiling. 

Renjun let out a weak chuckle. "Yeah, thanks, sorry."

"No, it's fine. Everyone has one of those days where they just bump into someone," Jeno said, Renjun smiled at him. "Hey, are you busy?"

Renjun arched an eyebrow at him. "No, why?"

"You look like you need a cup of coffee. Want some? My treat," Jeno offered. 

Maybe this was the universe's offering for him. This was his chance, right? The reason for the fake relationship was to get Jeno's attention. And now, somehow, after a minor collision he had Jeno's attention in his grasp. He should take that, right? Then everything he went through for the past few weeks could be forgotten. 

And when Renjun start dating Jeno again, he could perhaps forgive Jaemin. They would be back to being best friends. 

"How could I deny the offer of coffee?" Renjun said and Jeno laughed but it didn't give him the desired butterflies in his stomach effect. 

The Starbucks near their campus was surprisingly void of customers. Not really the usual for a branch near a university but that was fine. Renjun didn't want to surrounded by people anyways. But the cup of hot Americano under his palm didn't seem to surround him in any warmth either. 

Renjun wished he could sip on a caramel macchiato but it was Jeno's treat and he didn't want to be demanding. 

"How have you been?" Jeno asked him. 

Renjun hummed. "Good. As good as a university student could be."

"You really do look a little tired," Jeno said pausing for a while then hesitantly he added, "Did you fight with Jaemin?"

"No?" Renjun answered, puzzle. What was he going to say? They did?

"Oh, well, that's good then. You two look good with each other."

"What?"

Jeno blinked at him. "Y-you guys _are_ dating, right? I mean, you're everywhere around campus together." He chuckled. "Back before we were dating, I thought the two of you were already dating. But you weren't and we started dating."

The grip on his cup was tight. And so was his chest. Lungs bound so tight it was almost suffocating. Renjun felt like, rather than being in the wondrous of space, he was plunged deep into the dark underwaters. 

"Then we broke up," Jeno sighed. "But I think it was for the better. You look happier when you're with Jaemin. Even back when we were dating, it feels like something was missing for you. Maybe the missing piece was Jaemin all along." 

Somehow Renjun had the instinct to grab his pencil from his bag. To grip on something that might or might not break. Because he was sure he was suffocated in here. Way more than when Jaemin pressed close against him on the merry-go-round or when his lips hovered just beside Renjun's ears. 

Because when that was a suffocation that felt pleasant, this felt too much like drowning alone. 

"Sorry, I might have said too much," Jeno laughed awkwardly. "But, really, I'm happy for you."

Renjun gave him a tight lipped smile. "Thank you," 

  
  
  


_Rule #5: The big bang theory; maybe we've always known what love is._

Surprisingly, Renjun preferred to be alone inside Starbucks drinking the too bitter and stale Americano than sitting here with Jeno. 

A surprise because Renjun thought he hadn't move on. A surprise because he thought he might still like Jeno romantically. A surprise because he acted like he lost a world when Jeno showed signs of moving on. A surprise because he wanted to garner the other's attention. A surprise because he had went into a fake relationship with his best friend to make Jeno jealous. 

A surprise because, more than Jeno, Renjun wished that Jaemin was here with him instead. 

The bustling of the coffee machine gave him enough background music for his mind to start whirring. 

When did it start? Where had it become more than a fake relationship?

When did Renjun started looking at Jaemin and wished he was the planet Renjun reside in?

Maybe since the start of time. Because in every occasion, there was always Jaemin. Freshman year when they first met. The pencils thrown at him whenever Renjun felt annoyed. The Moomin pyjamas he had showed up in at Jaemin's apartment. The first university party he attended where he had puked an embarrassingly whole lot and Jaemin had held him gently. 

When Renjun broke down over Jeno. When he openly told Jaemin that he thought that he wasn't enough. Jaemin had say otherwise. And Jaemin would later jumped into a fake relationship with Renjun, knowing it probably wouldn't go well. Yet he still did it, because of Renjun. 

The gravity of Jaemin's planet might not have been strong, but that was only because Renjun hadn't realize it. 

What was he supposed to do now then? He had broke Jaemin's heart even though he should have hold onto it for safekeeping. It would be a miracle that Jaemin would see him again. 

And Renjun had always worked with numbers. So the probability of that miracle to occur was far from what the numbers could provide. 

He stood up, leaving the stale Americano untouched for the most part and left the premise. With a cloudy mind, Renjun had walked down the streets. His mind was conscious for the most part but otherwise, it felt like Renjun was in another universe. Well, at least it was enough for him to walk the streets without potentially endangering himself. 

Walking past a convenience store, something in him tugged at him, asking him to enter. 

Odd, Renjun was sure he wasn't short on food back in his dorms. Maybe his stomach was craving for some snacks. It wouldn't hurt to indulge himself in a mountain of stomach upsetting food anyways. He needed it, knowing he would probably be lost in his mind back in his dorm. 

Renjun entered the store, the electronic bell installed at the door and the male behind the cashier greeted him. He gave the male a nod and walked down the aisle. There wasn't anything particular he craved for, again, he wasn't sure why he was here in the first place. But Renjun's feet brought him to the chocolate aisle and he stopped before it. 

The hideous soccer team varsity was really just that – hideous. Renjun had voiced it out several times but Jaemin insisted on wearing it. Even now, Renjun wasn't sure if he should be irritated at the offending piece of clothing he was eyeing or grateful that the one wearing it wasn't any other of the soccer team members. 

Jaemin stood there unmoving, eyeing a box of pepero. Renjun wasn't sure if he was staring at it whether deciding on buying or not or it brought him back to certain memories of a day at an amusement park. He didn't bother to wait to know. 

Renjun cleared his throat and that seemed to garner Jaemin's attention as he raised his head and looked at Renjun. 

Briefly he wondered, has it always been this easy for him to get Jaemin's attention?

"Are you going to buy that?" Renjun asked. 

Jaemin shrugged his shoulders. "Do I want to be reminded of what happened between me, a box of pepero and a certain someone? Maybe."

The corner of Renjun's lips couldn't help but twitch upwards slightly. Maybe he had crash landed too hard on Jaemin's planet. 

"Can we talk?" Renjun said instead. 

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay," Jaemin answered, confident. "What is there to lose? I already don't have you in my grasp." 

The way Jaemin had say that was saddening, painful. In a way, Renjun guessed it was his fault. It definitely was. But there must be a reason Renjun had entered a convenience store where Jaemin was conveniently in as well. Truly a convenience for him. 

Perhaps the gravity of Jaemin's planet was too strong that it pulled him in unexpectedly. 

"And if I told you I've never left your grasp?" Renjun asked. "For the longest time, I've been floating across the universe. It would be easy for me to crash on anyone's planet. But just when I think I've found my place, I've been pulled by your gravity again and again. And I couldn't ever resist it. It had always been so strong, but it is me who never realized it."

Jaemin looked at him, eyes wide. 

"I'm sorry." Renjun said. He was smiling, sad and the words Donghyuck had told him in the library ringing clear. Whatever it was they chose for the future, hopefully it didn't ruin them. "I've been selfish while you let me orbit your planet freely. I think I've fallen off course slightly these few days. It's quite suffocating, you see. If you're willing, would you let me orbit around you again?" 

Renjun chuckled weakly, looking slightly away as he blushed. "Because I'm selfish, is it okay if I want you to call me babe? Want you to hug me from behind even though I know I'm probably sweating buckets from the gesture. Want you to swoop in and take that last bite of pepero from my lips. Want you to not be my fake boyfriend."

He looked at Jaemin, swallowing the last bit of embarrassment. "Would you be selfish enough to want me back in your orbit? Because I don't think I would want to crash anywhere else unless if it's within your arms." 

Jaemin let out a tired chuckle. He smiled at Renjun and he didn't think that there was a burst of supernova that was as powerful as his heart was right now. Because the warmth of Jaemin's smile was comforting, not like the scorching sun that had always blaze right in his direction. 

"I would rather my planet explode than let you escape my orbit." 

And that was the only confirmation he needed to have his meteorite crash safely into where Jaemin was. 

  
  
  


_Afterword._

Renjun tapped his pencil mindlessly against the wooden table. Occasionally he could feel Jaemin's feet dragging up his thigh. Renjun glared at him and Jaemin smiled. 

"I wasn't aware there was another rule," Jaemin commented as he flipped through Renjun's notebook. 

He had stolen the book from Renjun's bag when he took a seat earlier. Renjun didn't stop him. What was there to hide? Jaemin had seen him in his worst and his best. 

"Because I never told you," Renjun replied simply. 

"Rule number four, don't fall in love." Jaemin mumbled aloud. "But we did."

Renjun chuckled. 

"Did we?" He asked. "Or did we pulled each other into our orbits until it became too strong that we just collided?"

"That too," Jaemin said, nodding his head. "I guess we didn't fall in love. We crashed."

The smile on Renjun's lips were wide. He turned back towards his laptop, pencil still tapping onto the table. The air-conditioning whirred above them and Jaemin's thigh pressed close against his own. It wasn't suffocating, it was his comfort. 

"You still have that," 

Renjun raised his head to look, an eyebrow arched at Jaemin. "Have what?"

"The pencil," Jaemin pointed out. 

Renjun looked down towards the pencil. It finally dawned upon him where he got this pencil from. If it was possible, his smile grew wider. He looked at Jaemin. 

"It's the one you borrowed me from freshman year."

"And you never gave it back," Jaemin sighed. 

"Must I?" Renjun asked, curious but also teasing. 

Jaemin shook his head. "Nope, it's yours now." 

"Just like my heart is."

**Author's Note:**

> if anyone cares for the minor background check then:
> 
> jaemin is an astronomy major and renjun is an astrophysics major which explains their weird anecdote with space. donghyuck just loves space and because he's friends with renmin he also vibe with the space anecdotes. 
> 
> chenji are soulmates i said what i said.
> 
> also the sentences after the rule numbers are jaemin and renjun's thoughts :>


End file.
